Saturday, June 2, 2007

Volume 23, Chapter 2

Another day. My spirits aren't quite all the way back up, but they are rising slowly. A recent loss of a loved one in my life is weighing heavy on my heart still. I know I will eventually move on, but right now it seems like an uphill climb that will never end. I find myself relying on friends to comfort me. I thank God for them every day. Lately, and more often than not, I find myself relying on one in particular. He is a cousin of mine and is my life line when things go badly. I have a hard time sometimes because he lives on the east coast, and i am in the middle of the country, there's a lot of distance between us. We make up for it though, with phone calls and internet chats and messages. I don't know what I would ever do without him.

Home is a small town with not much to do but drink and party. I am young and enjoy partying, but I have already done so much of it growing up around here. I recently acquired my real estate liscence and am trying very hard to make a positive name for myself in this area. I have found myself, more and more lately, sitting home alone. My friends, even my very good friends, are still out running around and partying, getting into trouble, and being wild. All of my friends are older than me by a couple to several years, and they seem not to care that they live their lives freely like teenagers. Most of them live with their parents, with little ambition to move out. Two of my best friends recently went to jail on two different nights over silly things that never should have happened. I get lonely and miss hanging out with everyone, but it seems a lot safer and smarter to stay sitting at home any more. I look forward to meeting a new circle of people, hopefully fun yet mature, to do things with in my community. Its been a very lonely road lately, and I look forward to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

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